3 am Rambles (4)

I often wonder if I’m lying to the people who care about me, or am I choosing to even lie to myself.

Why am I the way I am? Unnecessarily complicating every aspect of my presence. Nothing awful has really happened in my life, with an pretty ordinary life I should have been grateful, contended and happier. I have always found ways to make everything better. Hobbies help, people do too. If you set your mind everything looks bright but when you don’t even the sun looks a little dull.

What scares me the most is how good I am at driving everyone away. It’s an excellent talent that I have acquired, slowly mastering the art. To be honest it’s not too difficult to built a wall around, just some silence would do the job for people tend to give up. Give up on being the only voice in an conversation.

Is it fair though? I wonder. For never letting out the screams while expecting a helping hand. or Ruining someone’s peaceful afternoon by my untimely noises. Is it fair to wish for a constant motivation to go on?

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