You look me in the eye.
Say it out loud,
the color of her eyes,
the brand of her perfume.
Look up to me.
Own up to your sins.
Don’t hide around in her apartment.
Don’t go running to her,
when the space around here gets tough.
Find the words that abandon you.
Every time I ask, “where you were last night?”.
Don’t play games anymore.
Pay for your actions,
pay for the trouble in our paradise.
Don’t ignore my tears any longer.
Face the music!
Face the rage inside of me.
Every time I see your face,
all I wish is to stab you,
with that same knife you used,
To puncture a hole in my heart.
Sometimes I shriek in empty rooms.
When the kids are at school,
when the world gets busy with their day.
All I hear, is your woman call your name.
I wish to pack my stuff and escape this world,
I wish to either end you or slit my wrist,
and then I hear the school bus outside.
My mum says, run away,
do not be a victim to your deeds,
But, how can I?
When the divorce of my parents,
scarred me forever.
The history won’t repeat.
At least not in my house.
Let my kids breath the love that they deserve.
I still remember you promise,
forever is what you said.
I still remember the vows.
The way you cried,
as I walked towards you,
in my wedding dress.
I still remember our kiss,
in that church.
You completed me.
Take me back,
when we were hopelessly in love.
When you missed me every second.
When you called me from office,
surprised me with chocolates,
or the unplanned ice cream treats.
Take me back to the Sundays,
where the house echoed,
with laughter from a happy family.
Now all I hear is absolute silence.
Come back from the lost land.
We wait here with arms open,
to forgive you, for our love is enough.
Find the courage to throw the toxicity away.
Bare the charges and start a new page,
for this home is burning for a long time.
Stop the fire or we’ll end up in ashes,
and all you will have is a memory,
of sunny days and us running on the beaches.