~I wish to undo a few things~

Dear Diary,

I can feel the end lingering  around me. I can feel the tension grow and the calmness fighting  its way to reach me. I’m  far from the easy life , my boat is about to sink and i can feel the fear building inside me.

School’s coming  to an end and i can barely  see myself as a girl who can rock the world. I have become an average  student and i now regret  the things i have done. I wish someone  would have guided me all through the journey .

I dream of being a painter, i dream of a studio  filled  with my passion and my strength.  But alas! Who will understand  me in this competitive  world. All i aspire now is to join an engineering college.  My parents have so much faith in me. I can see everything  going down. Oh! I wish i would have stayed away from the late night chats with this boy who has just resulted in destroying my future. I wish i would not have spent days chatting  about stupid  things which gave  away the most important  days of my life.

I wish i would have stayed stronger and ran away from all the distractions  that blurred  my path.

I could have ended  today. My relationship  is taking me no where. I should have but then i couldn’t  imagen the awkwardness i would feel in my school. I couldn’t  type “it’s over”. All i did was waste another day chatting  with him. I know he thinks this is love. But how can i explain to him that this has got to end. That we would no longer be together  when we go to college. We were never meant  to be together.

I know the world would take me as a silly  girl. However  they have no idea about my struggle  of keeping my identity  intact. In this insane world its hard to find sanity.  It’s hard to be a teenager.It’s hard to keep up with the pressure. 

I wish someone  would guide me up the hill and show me the bright horizon.  

-Tulika

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8 thoughts on “~I wish to undo a few things~

Add yours

  1. Keep going! Life can really be hard sometimes, but you’ve got many beautiful days to come, even if you don’t believe it now! As for school; it’s good to stay focused, but don’t be to hard on yourself. Take some time for you alone. So you can relax. It helps me alot!

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  2. You need to take the poison out of your own life. Only you can, and only you must. Let go of toxic people, habits and vices. People you can’t say no to, or can’t help saying yes to either. Habits that you know you should lose. And finally vices that you know are killing you.

    Love yourself, because you’re beautiful. You’re unique, and absolutely irreplaceable. 🙂

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  3. hey there.. wonderful story.. loved it. you are fantastic. the way you express stuff is extremely good, one can feel the emotions dripping from your stories.

    Like

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