I wish to fall in love.
That’s a dream that silly girls have. That was me a year ago. Those 365 days has turned me into a different person making me realize the difference between the idea of falling in love and actually falling for a person.
You know, I was so damn crazy about loving a person last year when everything was just a fairytale. A new school, a new boy, his eyes lurking around to find me. Impressed by his words I fell for him making my dream come true. Our eyes would often catch each other. The love building up was just a form of infatuation(to us it was an epic love story) “I love you” didn’t really mean anything but for our young hearts, it meant the world to us. Those hand contacts made by mistake would free the caged butterflies in our stomach. We were the new love birds.
As the days passed our love had now become monotonous, no new thrills, no new butterflies fluttering around. Was I the only one to feel the change? I guess so because he didn’t change a bit, it was me who had changed. It was me who now avoided those touches and eye contacts. I knew I had fallen out of love. The truth I realized was that I was never really in love, I had fantasized about the idea of love ignoring the outcome.
It was so hard for me now to say “Love you too”. It was so hard for me to ignore his faults which had not affected me a while ago. I gradually started hating his loud voice, his childish behavior. I now wanted to get rid of this wrong relationship where I felt suffocated. I felt I had been cheated by fate, I had asked for a prince not this puppet. I was frustrated till one day I confronted him.
His tears didn’t affect me, his threats didn’t scare me, he shouted at me asking what went wrong?
All I could say was “everything. ”
That was the last day I heard from him.
That was the last day when I felt nothing.
Today I’m beyond all that.
I’ve learnt my lesson, I don’t waste my dreams anymore.
I’m in love again but this time I’ve fallen for myself. ♥